Lorri Antosz Benson, Author
Lorri Antosz Benson with Julio Iglesias on the set of “DONAHUE” in 1988
AGE: What was your first job in TV and how did you get it?
After college, I had a brief foray in television production for advertising in my hometown, Dayton, Ohio. I then moved to Chicago and got a job as a director for WCIU-TV, which at the time did multi-use, multi-language programming. During the day, the program focus was on the stock market, as the station was located at the top of the Board of Trade building. After five, however, and on weekends, you could have everything from a Spanish variety show, to a Greek talk show complete with animals, to a Polish news show, all live. Try directing a show when you have no idea what the people are saying!
How did I get it? I just papered the town with my resume and took the first TV job that was offered. Having zero experience as a director, I just learned about television on the job.
AGE: What other jobs did you have in TV?
I was extremely lucky to have my next job as associate producer on Phil Donahue’s Today Show segments, which ultimately led to being Senior Producer on the DONAHUE show. I always felt like it was just meant to be. A few years earlier, I had been on a date in my hometown, Dayton, Ohio, and my date happened to take me to the 10th Anniversary party for the DONAHUE show. I met both Phil and executive producer, Pat McMillen there. Somehow, going through resumes several years later, Pat happened to pick up my resume and remembered meeting me. That chance meeting at the party led to a job that lasted 15 years and changed my life.
After 10 years in NYC, my husband and I decided to trade our career-driven lives for family-centered ones in Naples, FL. After leaving DONAHUE, I consulted on a few TV projects, including one in India, and became the executive producer on a regional TV show in SWFL, before transitioning to writing. I wrote a nationally syndicated column called “Talk the Talk” for 11 years. It featured behind the scenes stories from all of the national talk shows.
AGE: What DONAHUE show episodes stand out in your memory?
Oh wow, after fifteen years there were so many and they blend together. What I loved best was the variety of what we did- one day we were doing a show with billionaire H. Ross Perot (who used to call me at home with messages for Phil) about his run for the U.S. Presidency and the next we were doing a show on The Swingers Next Door. Or Nelson Mandela one day and Male Strippers the next. One show that I distinctly remember that I produced was Survivors. I had a panel with the most incredible stories of survival, including a skydiver whose chute failed to open on TWO separate occasions. Those guests all blew my mind. Another show I remember was on a baby who needed a new heart to live, but who was initially turned down because his parents were young and unmarried. I was on the phones, taking calls for the live show when a call came in from a Michigan hospital administrator saying “We have an infant organ donor whose parents are watching your show and want his heart to go to the baby from Loma Linda.” I put the call through and the whole studio was in tears and cheering. Many assumed we planned that call, but I answered that phone and know it was real. It was unforgettable. Another one was our live show from the Biosphere in Arizona. We filmed all the B-roll the morning of the show, and were still editing footage when the show opened. We were finishing edits minutes before they rolled live in the next segment. Like a scene out of Broadcast News.
1985 Daytime Emmy win: Lorri Antosz Benson, Phil Donahue, Pat McMillen, Darlene Hayes (not pictured: Marlaine Selip, Gail Steinberg and Sue Sprecher)
AGE: What was it like working with Phil Donahue?
I feel very blessed to have had the privilege of working with Phil. He was absolutely brilliant, and talented in a way that was unique. He required only a single index card of information to go out and get the most out of every guest. No teleprompter, nothing scripted, just him. NO ONE on the air today, or even then, could do what he did. As a producer, you could take weeks producing a show, and think you knew everything there was to know, and he would go out and ask questions you never thought of asking. As a boss, he was demanding and pushed you to the brink of what you thought you were capable of, but that is the reason our show was top quality. As a person, he is thoughtful, sympathetic, compassionate, fair and generous beyond belief.
Phil Donahue and Lorri Antosz Benson in 2006
AGE: Do you have any celebrity stories you can share?
One of my first experiences with a celebrity was being assigned to keep Paul Newman company on show day because there was a delay in the schedule. Not a rough assignment. I really enjoyed booking Cher and Goldie Hawn. Both were delightful, friendly and fun in the green room. Goldie and I were in the same week of pregnancy and exchanged stories of feeling movement and being with child. Favorite celeb experience would have to be Phil and I going to Katherine Hepburn’s amazing NYC brownstone to shoot an interview. At the end of the interview Phil asked her to sign her book for him and she looked up and asked him what his name was. Without missing a beat, he said “Geraldo Rivera.” And then there was the time Warren Beatty was five minutes late for his live show, after being told repeatedly that it was LIVE. Two minutes to air, we quickly called his hotel room, and his lovely bride, Annette Bening, picked up the phone and she and Phil entertained our audience until Beatty graced us with his presence.
With Julio Iglesias, we decided to do an extensive B-roll shoot (not the norm) because he invited us to tour his fabulous home on an exclusive island in Florida. As the producer, it fell to me to have the tough task (not!) of flying to Florida in the winter and spending the day with Julio in his beautiful home. He was the most gracious host, touring the grounds and house with me, sharing lunch, introducing me to his son Enrique (who went on to follow in his heartthrob father’s footsteps). As I was leaving, he grabbed a magnum of Chateau Lafite Rothschild and handed it to me. When I protested, he refused to take it back, insisting I go home and enjoy it with my husband. Having no idea of its value, I did just that, thinking that was the least I could do for my husband after spending a glorious day with such a gorgeous man. Looking back, and now knowing the value of that bottle, I a) should have tried harder to refuse and failing that, reported it to my bosses, and b) wish I still had it!!
AGE: You have accomplished so much in your life, and you always appear to be fearless! How do you get past any fears you do have?
I tend to lean into risk, because I believe without risk there is no reward. I also don’t believe in having regrets. I think things happen for a reason, and if you learn from bad decisions or unfortunate events, then you grow. So I try not to fear what life has in store. We come to a crossroads, make the best decision we can, and then live and/or learn. Fear has its place- it helps us avoid bad things. I’ve experienced fear concerning my family. But fear can cripple us, causing us to worry about things we have no control over. So I try to quickly go back to my faith that there’s a reason, and trust that it does all work out.
AGE: Have you done something career-wise that took a good deal of moxie, or made a bold move that turned out well?
What good producer hasn’t? It seems like that is part of the job description! I suppose it was a bold move to introduce myself to executive producer Pat McMillen at the party, which resulted in the Donahue job. I also remember approaching Richard Gere at a movie screening and telling him I’d been trying to book him for years. I was shocked when he said he would love to do the show and told me who to call! But perhaps the boldest move of my life was leaving New York at the height of my television career and moving to Naples, FL. My NY friends were aghast, asking me what I would do and who would I possibly talk to there? To them, NYC was the only life worth living. But I had three small daughters and my husband and I wanted to focus our attention on them, so he left Wall Street and I left Phil and we moved to a town where we had no jobs and barely knew a soul. I guess that was pretty bold.
AGE: How has the COVID-19 pandemic changed life for you?
Not as much as most people. I am a writer and family advocate now, and I write from home, so that didn’t change. I am, however, on the board of Harvest Home, a non-profit in Los Angeles that transforms the lives of homeless pregnant women. We’ve recently been gifted an 18-bedroom convent for a second location and were just launching our expansion campaign when Covid-19 hit. Needless to say, this has severely hampered our fundraising efforts, which is disappointing. On the plus side, I had two unexpected months with two of my four grown daughters, who decided to shelter at home with us March through May. I loved having them around, and now my husband is working from home and I’m enjoying that as well. We’re certainly cooking more! On the minus side, there are few, if any, speaking opportunities right now. Also, my husband and I usually travel extensively, and we’ve been grounded now since March. We are missing our five grandnuggets and kids, as well as our usual getaways. We are also usually very active patrons of the arts and that’s come to a grinding (and sad) halt. I do feel lucky, though, because I realize how much life has changed for others.
AGE: You’ve written several books derived from your own personal experiences. Tell us about them.
Courageous People Who Were Adopted (And Changed The World)
Due Fall 2022
The third book in my adoption series is a children’s book featuring influential and inspirational adoptees. It is written to encourage adopted children to realize that adoption does not limit one’s ability to do great things and change the world.
Adopting Hope
A collection of stories, lessons learned, tips and words of wisdom from adoptive parents, birthparents and adoptees. I wrote this as a follow-up to my memoir (the second of a three-book series on adoption.) It’s written to be a resource for all those in the adoption world. It features not only wonderful, emotional adoption stories, but also great advice from voices of experience.
To Have And Not To Hold
The story of my journey as a birthmother, from how I made the difficult decision to place my daughter for adoption, to the aftermath, to the years following, to our reunion when she was 16, and the subsequent blending of our two families. It also explores the amazing bond between my birth daughter’s adoptive mom and me. I wrote this because we have been blessed with a most incredible and inspirational ending to our adoption story, and I felt it was not only a beautiful story, but also had many aspects that could help others on all sides of an adoption triad. Most especially, I felt my daughter’s adoptive mom had done everything right and that it was important to shine a light on her intuitive decisions and attitudes.
Distorted- How One Mother and Daughter Unraveled the Truth, the Lies and the Realities of an Eating Disorder
This was co-written by my daughter, Taryn Benson Gillis, and together we examined her eating disorder from both of our perspectives. In doing so, it became a thorough revelation on how an eating disorder ravages and manipulates both patient and family. It is both a powerful narrative and an informative resource for anyone touched by an eating disorder.
When my family was struggling with Taryn’s ED, I found there were no books to help the friends and family of someone with an eating disorder. We wrote this book to be a resource for the family; to help them not only feel less alone, but also to give them concrete information on how to help both their loved one, and themselves.
AGE: How can people find out more about you?
